On everyday life

8:30pm

Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine.

Shunryu Suzuki

I've been fretting over what to write in these entrees. I want them to say something and I want them to be interesting. I realize that they are rarely either of these- they are simply my life. As with anywhere else, life slips into a routine. You get up, get dressed, go to work, and then go home. It's in the details that we live.

There's nothing anymore interesting about my life than anyone else's for the most part, in fact it's probably much more boring. Except for the occasional rocket or mortar attack, I go through the same routine every day seven days a week. I'm not eligible for R&R until 120 days from the day I flew out so that means I work 120 days straight with no days off.

I live and work in an area smaller than many neighborhoods. I drive back and forth to work, but it's only across the lot- I have to keep my truck nearby since it's loaded with medical supplies. I drive to the D-Fac, but it's not much further. I sit in my dilapidated office with the gaps in the floorboards and the window covered with foil insulation and plastic. I have to go outside to the porta-john when I go to the restroom (bet you don't get to do that- especially when it's 125 degrees F outside!). I do reports, I treat patients, I read the news on the internet. I go home and read and then go to sleep so that I can get up in the morning and start the whole process over.

It's in the details though that we live- the practical joke here, the funny looking rock in the parking lot, the curious carp looking up out of his pond (his whole life will be spent in an area not much bigger than most people's property). Today's excitement was fresh onions and lettuce in the D-Fac- we had been out of both for a while. I ate a taco salad and chased it with some fresh apple punch. Lunch was forgettable- but lettuce and onions, there's something to write about. Now if we could just get some more of those delicious white peaches................

I realize how bad my attitude was before leaving and how much of a pain in the ass I must have been for most people to be around. I tend to be an extreme realist and voice things as I see them. While I can see the potential in people, buildings, old cars, etc, I don't always talk about it. I'm sure that burn out, stress from dealing with morons at work, and my own unrealized expectations of what life could/should have been all contributed to this, but it didn't make me any nicer to be around. I've got a long way to go, but I know that I can't ever go back to being that person.

Those of you who've stayed friends with me I owe a big thanks (and a cold beer).

Enough sappy stuff- I got an actual letter from my dad the other day. I'm talking handwritten and all! In this day of electronic everything, penmanship has definitely been left by the wayside. I read the letter twice right away. The man had no misspelled words and his handwriting is still good. I look at the scratch that I call handwriting and it's barely legible even to me. Anyways, I'm glad to hear he's still going to church and made friends with the associate pastor. Maybe sometime later I'll write a topic on religion. I also got another picture of my old sock monkey- poor thing, he's as old as I am and probably has as many scars as I do (that's a pretty good bit) . Somehow he's been drafted into serving as my proxy at family functions :) .

Well once again it's about time to get out of the office- time to go kick off my boots and do a little reading.